my body is a wonderland
Today’s prompt is: describe the best way to take care of your body? What are you doing to accomplish that?
Hmmm… what are the best ways to take care of my body? I feel like this is a complex question for me to unpack. I am diabetic, and also have a myriad of mental health diagnoses. As I have shared before I am in the best physical, and mental health historically. My mental and physical health in good condition is strange to me as someone who has been dissociating most of my life. I was not able to enjoy sex, or intimacy (physical, emotionally, etc.) because I couldn’t gauge where I was at. When I reflect on high school/college I don’t remember how I felt, or what I was doing. I can recall details about other people. I think my ADHD fixation is either sex, or people. I love hearing people talk about what they are passionate about.
The best way to take care of my body is continue going to the doctor regularly. I do, and I if I have any concerns I contact the nurse at my clinic. I PM my primary care physician (PCP), whenever I have a question, or concern. I have therapy every other week, and have been in therapy regularly since 2016. I work out, and do pilates. Practicing my breathing, and engaging in mind-body exercise has been a fucking game changer.
I tell everyone that health is wealth, and that is the truth. I remember all the adults in my life being young, and full of energy. I have witnessed them fall ill to cancer, and have 2 parents who are on dialysis. I have tried to tell my friends, and extended community that you have to take care of yourselves now when you are youthful, because life doesn’t get easier. Our bodies do not get younger, and you have to address things before they spiral out of control. Seeing my dad, who was 19 when I was born, go from being the fun dad, to someone in and out of the hospital is a special kind of demoralising.
When humans are young they feel invincible, that youthful cockiness is definitely needed. Stirring up the pot in society, and reminding older generations of their youth. The downside of youthful brashness is when a young person experiences their first grief, heartbreak, or loss. In the moment those feelings are devastating to young people, but of course it is, they have never felt grief/heartbreak/loss before. Giving a young person advice is futile, and they have to live life on their own terms. I do not envy young people because the hormonal rollercoaster is nothing but peaks and valleys. At last I feel at 30 that not everything is a disaster, or dire. I have to make decisions, and I learn from my reactions. My reactions are the only things I can control, barely.
I can really empathize when someone is down, or misses something/someone/a place. Saying goodbye has always been a difficult transition for me. I don’t have abandonment issues, I was actually abandoned as a child. My bestie reminded me of that the other day. And that’s how you know you have complex trauma.
When my friends are sad I say you are sad because you have experienced joy, and happiness. Of course you would feel sad about XYZ. A gentle reminder is that depression is thinking about the past (nostalgia), and anxiety is worrying about the future. Taking care of my body looks like me,l trying my best to stay in my body, not let my intrusive thoughts win, and not worry about the past/future.
xoxo,