connection

I called out of work the past 2 days. I haven’t been feeling well. I can’t tell if I bruised my esophagus, or there is something wrong with my blood sugar. I have been feeling extremely tired the past few days, and my blood sugar has been really low. I am going to go to urgent care ASAP in the morning tomorrow. I hope it goes well.

The prompt question today is, “What do I do to stay connected with family and friends throughout the week?”

I feel that some of these questions are for someone who isn’t a SW squared like me. However, I have people I text, and call everyday. I recognize that I am lucky for that shit. I have friends where we talk hours on the phone listening to one another breathing, and hearing them breathe is one of my favorite fucking things in the universe. If I am missing someone I tell them I miss them via text, phone or audio message. I am a big fan of audio messages because it is easier, and I love hearing voices. I tell friends, and pretty much everyone that I care for that I love them. I truly wear my heart on my sleeve. I say everything I feel because I have experienced a lot of loss in my life, and have been to more funerals than weddings. I want every person I care about to know it affirmably so, without any doubt, or hesitation. I tell all my close friends that if they were ever incarcerated I would visit them, and put money on their books. And that folks is how you find out if someone is about that life. Despite feeling loved, and having the privilege of having all these loving friendships, and connections I still feel immense loneliness and try to be perfect. The inferiority complex is something I NEED to work out.

xoxo,