what stops me?

The prompt today is: What stops me from achieving my goals? What motivates me to reach my goals?

One thing that stops me from achieving my goals is my anxiety. I am always in my head, and transitions are difficult for me to process. I basically hate doing things that make me uncomfortable. For example I spent this Easter weekend with my family, and the entire process was uncomfortable. However, I spoke to my platonic life partner on the phone, and she talked me through it. I have a life filled with love, and I should show up for mu family while I have the chance. Witnessing the adults in your life age is such a brutal thing to experience. I am glad I saw my mom, and dad although it was painful and uncomfortable. Wild to see that they spent most of their youth in disagreement with each other, are now in their old age together, and in worse health. Is it mean of me to laugh when I saw them wobbling towards one another? They are both hyperfixated on my sister, her road to recovery, and hopefully reunification with my niece, and nephews. The more time I spend with my family, the happier I am with the decision not to have children. Anyways back to my anxiety preventing me from achieving my goals. I have been learning to sit in the discomfort, even though it makes my skin fucking crawl.

My curiosity is what motivates me to achieve my goals. My curiosity, and desire for different, and new experiences. It’s been a terrible long weekend. I am going to zone out, and melt into my couch.

xx,