moral of the musings
So I went to Thailand and Singapore for my 30th birthday. All I wanted to do was eat noodles and get massages. I did get a massage every day and they were amazing. Especially for 300 baht. My shoulder felt better whilst in Thailand but now in Washington I keep putting my shoulders down and popping them.
I went on the trip with a paramour that I had been seeing for about 2 years. Traveling was great and I was able to meet one of my graduate school friends that I haven’t seen since summer/September 2020. I missed her so much and I cannot wait to visit her in Korea. But I digress….back to the point. This former paramour was the best lover ever, period. I didn’t know that I could cream, edge and climax over and over again for hours. Unsurprisingly we never really spent extended time together that was not in the bedroom or the occasional hike. Due to the trip and spending an extended period of time with him I came to the conclusion that he is boring and also sort of not up to my speed. He does not read and is the type of human who wants to sit alone in his thoughts. I feel that is perturbing and sort of a red flag unto itself.
The trip with him was the turning point for me going into SW. I ended up breaking things off with him at baggage claim before customs when we arrived at the airport. I know sort of cruel but he was the most unsupportive travel companion, not encouraging at all, and he made me cry twice in my beautiful hotel room I paid for. I decided that I was never going to suck dick for free and he didn’t deserve my GOAT throat skills. I deleted all my dating apps and decided to be all entrepreneur and shit. Now I am super horny and sort of contemplating downloading dating apps. The idea of doing that is so exhausting. I cringe thinking about it. There is something deeply scaring about not dating or having your first kiss until after college (I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 23 and tbh my biggest regret is not selling my virginity). I was a normal undergraduate going to shows, and house parties with a group of friends. But nothing….no one was ever interested. I guess the moral of this musing is to be careful what you wish for because I assumed a tropical vacation with my best lovers sounded like a fabulous idea. Even the best sex of my life couldn’t salvage someone lacking emotional intelligence, and empathy. I hope the next time I go to Thailand it will be with someone who is a great lover and an intelligent/kind human.